Thought of the Week: Neurodivergence and Perfectionism

Do you ever find yourself caught in the grip of perfectionism? Not the kind where you’re simply aiming for excellence, but the kind where you feel frozen, terrified of making a mistake or falling short? If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. For me, perfectionism isn’t just a quirk; it’s a constant, exhausting companion.

It starts small. Maybe it’s an email I need to send. I’ll write it, then rewrite it, then stare at it for far too long, second-guessing every word. “Does this sound okay? Am I being too direct? Not direct enough?” Before I know it, something that should’ve taken two minutes has eaten up 10, and I’m no closer to hitting ‘send.’ Sound familiar? And it doesn’t stop at emails. Starting new projects can feel impossible if I’m already convinced, I won’t be able to get them “just right.” The fear of not meeting impossibly high standards has kept me from diving into ideas I was genuinely excited about. It’s ironic, isn’t it? The very drive to do things perfectly often leads to doing nothing at all.

I’ve been thinking about why so many of us, especially those who are neurodivergent, feel this weight of perfectionism. For me, it’s not just about high standards, it’s about survival. It goes back to years of feeling like I had to work twice as hard just to keep up, to prove my worth, to mask my differences. Somewhere along the line, I internalised the idea that mistakes weren’t an option, that I needed to get everything right to be accepted. The truth, though? Perfectionism is an impossible standard. And even worse, it’s a lonely one. When you’re stuck chasing “perfect,” you miss out on so much: creativity, growth, connection, and maybe most importantly, self-compassion.

So, let me ask you this week, how does perfectionism show up in your life? Is it pushing you forward, or is it holding you back? If you’re anything like me, it might feel like a safety net, but it’s really more of a trap. What would happen if you let go of “perfect” and embraced “good enough”?

Unlearning perfectionism doesn’t happen overnight. It’s uncomfortable. It feels like stepping off a tightrope without knowing if there’s a safety net below. But I’m starting to realise the net was never really there to begin with. I’ve been experimenting with this lately by trying to reframe mistakes as opportunities, not failures. I’m learning to celebrate progress over perfection, to recognize that done is often better than perfect. And you know what? it’s actually pretty freeing! It’s scary, too, don’t get me wrong. But it’s totally worth it.

This week, I invite you to think about your relationship with perfectionism. How much energy are you spending chasing it? And what might you gain if you gave yourself permission to be imperfect? Because here’s the thing: the world doesn’t need perfect people. It needs real ones. The ones who show up, who try, who stumble, and who keep going anyway.